How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
