Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
