YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
