i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
