Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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