My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i believe in u and ur pee
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
