dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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