it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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