now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
