Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
