what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
