I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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