I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
