White coat. Heels.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
