I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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