Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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