After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize