I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
