if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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