Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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