I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
