sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
