hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
