dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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