I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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