Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We left an ass print on the piano.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
