I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
