I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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