1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize