i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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