i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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