Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
