My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize