i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
