I'm going to jail i love you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
