Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
