I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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