She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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