Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
