My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
