Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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