I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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