I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
