Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
A+ Viking dick
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