this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
