Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
