i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
