So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
