Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
