ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
