You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
