I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize