I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
