So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
