How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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