i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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