And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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