I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Everyone says I win the strip club
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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