its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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