i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
